


Don't Pick Me, Pick Me, Pick Me

by pompombby



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Dormmates, Group chat, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Ongniel, Sexual Humor, Swearing, Texting, This is trash, minhwan, panwink is gonna get real
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-01-27 07:18:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12576568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pompombby/pseuds/pompombby
Summary: Daehwi makes a group chat with his dorm members.hilarity/drama ensues.(warning: wanna one being a mess. meanness and savagery everywhere)





	1. .

**Author's Note:**

> this is absolute crap but I laughed too much while writing this xD  
> here's a who's who for convenience
> 
> Daniel- dannypote  
> Jihoon-winkwank  
> Daehwi- daeweee<3  
> Jaehwan- kingjaehwan  
> Seungwoo- romeong  
> Woojin- fuckboiwoojin  
> Guanlin- babylin:*  
> Jisung- momwithchesthair  
> Minhyun- meanhyun  
> JInyoung- everybodylovesbae  
> Sungwoon- smolwoon
> 
> Disclaimer- I do not own Wanna One.  
> don't mean to offend anyone :3

**daeweee <3** **_created group “Dorm <3”_**

 ** _added_** **babylin:*, dannypote, everybodylovesbae, fuckboiwoojin, kingjaehwan, meanhyun, momwithchesthair, romeong, smolwoon and winkwank.**

 

 **dannypote:** ???????

****

**daeweee <3:** this was totally called for you guys

 **daeweee <3:** I’m sick of having to text ten different people who live in the same house as me

 **daeweee <3:** everytime i wanna have pizza

****

**meanhyun:** or you need toilet paper while shitting

****

**kingjaehwan:** bc no one will ever get toilet paper for you

****

**dannypote:** your not loved here

 

 **meanhyun** : *you’re

****

**kingjaehwan:** *you’re

 

 **kingjaehwan:**  Jinxxx

 

 **meanhyun:** Jinxxx

 

 **romeong:** you guys go be sappy somewhere else.

 **romeong** : wait

 **romeong:** WHAT THE FUCK IS MY CHAT NAME

 **romeong:** DAEHWI WTF HOW DO YOU CHANGE THIS

 **romeong:** this is so unrealistic

****

**daeweee <3:** yeah, no I heard you screaming out to daniel at the quadrangle

 **daeweee <3:** “ROMEONG WILL BE WAITING”

 

 **romeong:** WTFFFF

 **romeong:** I NEED YOU TO CHANGE THIS

****

**daeweee <3**: nope.

****

**romeong:** daehwi

 

 **daeweee <3:** nope

****

**dannypote:** hey ongie no worries

 **dannypote:** no one is judging you for tjhis

 

 **meanhyun** : well. excuse you, but a lot of people are judging him for TJHIS

 

 **dannypote:** hey your being mean minhyun

****

**meanhyun:** *you’re

****

**dannypote:** you have no right to judge, considering your sucking jaehwans dick all the time

****

**kingjaehwan:** *you’re

****

**momwithchesthair** : guys language please we’re not middle schoolers

 **momwithchesthair** : …

 **momwithchesthair:** okay daehwi you need to change some of the names here, they are offensive

 

 **romeong** : yeah like mine

 

 **momwithchesthair** : NO SEUNGWOO LIKE MINE

 **momwithchesthair** : WHAT THE BLUIDY FUCK IS THIS I DO NOT HAVE CHEST HAIR

 **momwithchesthair** : AND IT’S A SHITTY MEAN GIRLS REFERENCE

 **momwithchesthair** : WAS DAEHWI EVEN OUT OF HIS MOM’S WOMB WHEN MEAN GIRLS CAME OUT

 

 **meanhyun** : ha

****

**smolwoon** : sungwoooooon

 **smolwoon** : hey I like my name tho <3

 **smolwoon** : thanks daehwieeee :*****

 

 **momwithchesthair** : STOP BEING SO FUCKING SELF ABSORBED YOU ASSHOLES

 **momwithchesthai** r: FOR ONCE. ONCE.

 

 **fuckboiwoojin** : jeez guys calm your tits.

 **fuckboiwoojin** : jisung do you see me getting all pissed

 **fuckboiwoojin** : despite my terribly inaccurate name

 **fuckboiwoojin** : (daehwi boyy you dead)

 **fuckboiwoojin** : that’s because

 **fuckboiwoojin** : 1. Im soon going to disappear from this social suicide mission of a chatroom

 **fuckboiwoojin** : 2.

 

**fuckboiwoojin _changed to_ woojinisnothere**

**woojinisnothere** : its really damn easy to change

 

 **momwithchesthair:** TEACH ME HOW

 

 **woojinisnothere** : ummm

 **woojinisnothere** : no

 **momwithchesthair** : I WILL BUY YOU FROZEN TAQUITOES

 **momwithchesthair** **_changed to_** **jisungneedstogetlaid**

 **woojinisnothere** : see I fixed it

 

 **jisungneedstogetlaid:** thank you woojin

 **jisungneedstogetlaid** : also fuck you

 **jisungneedstogetlaid:** you’re getting mini taquitos

 

 **kingjaehwan** : guys, language. We’re not middle schoolers

 

 **jisungneedstogetlaid** : KIM JAEHWAN WHY DON’T YOU

 **jisungneedstogetlaid** : TAKE YOUR SARCASM

 **jisungneedstogetlaid** : AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS

**winkwank** : maybe minhyun can help

 

 **meanhyun** : :3

 

 **winkwank** : daehwi why does my name have a british slang for masturbation in it

 

 **daeweee <3:** :)))))))))))))

 

 **babylin:*:** my eyes hurt from all this verbal violence guys

 

 **jisungneedstogetlaid:** aww sorry guanlinieee

 

 **smolwoon** : yeah guys stop now

 **smolwoon** : there there guanlinie it wont happen again

 

 **dannypote** : such a pure little organism OUR LITLLE GUANLIN

 

 **babylin:*:** im taller than you tho hyung

 

 **romeong:** GUYS HE JUST CALLED DANIEL HYUNG

 

 **babylin:*:** yeah your all my hyungs

 

 **kingjaehwan:** *you’re

 

 **meanhyun:** (but we love you)

 

 **jisungneedstogetlaid:** some good kids still exist

 

 **romeong:** amen for guanlin

 

 **winkwank** : what shit such cringe

 **winkwank:** guanlin bro such a loser

 

 **babylin:*:** jihoonie hyung nooooo

 **babylin:*:** im your biggest fanboy

 

 **winkwank:** *smiles and pulls out middle finger*

 

 **babylin:*:** :’(

 

 **dannypote:** unnecessary, jihoon

 

 **romeong:** yeah man so rude

 

 **woojinisnothere** : hey guanlin what you getting out of being such an asskisser

 **woojinisnothere** : that too for these old farts hahahahahah

 

 **smolwoon:** woojin I thot you were not going to be here

 **smolwoon** : we were sure looking forward to that

 

 **daeweee <3**: ooooh burnnnnnnn

 

 **kingjaehwan:** *brings popcorn*

 

 **meanhyun** : *cuddles up in the blankets*

 

 **winkwank:** you forgot to get them condoms tho

 

 **everybodylovesbae:** lel

 

 **daeweee <3:** hey man where you been

 

 **everybodylovesbae:** class since morning

 **everybodylovesbae** : I cant navigate this group chat thing for shit

 

 **jisungneedstogetlaid:** hey you kids are not supposed to have those problems

 

 **winkwank:** oh shut up gramps

 

 **everybodylovesjinyoung:** how can i leave this daehwi

 

 **daeweee <3:** oh no no I’ll teach you how to work the chat, dw

 

 **everybodylovesbae:** thats not the thing

 

 **daeweee <3:** then what is it jinyoung

 

 **everybodylovesbae** : its just that no one here is popular

 **everybodylovesbae:** or cool

 **everybodylovesbae** : or even handsome

 **everybodylovesbae:** so I feel like im a bit out of this group chat’s league

 

 **daeweee <3:** …

 

winkwank: …..

 

 **jisungneedstogetlaid** : ….

 

 **dannypote:** ……..

 

 **romeong** :…………

 

 **smolwoon** : who even gave him the chat name

 

 **daeweee <3**: yeah on second thoughts I did misrepresent some people

 

 **everybodylovesbae** : why are there so many dots

 

 **woojinisnothere:** you called for this you ratched ass hoe

 

 **everbodylovesbae** **_changed to_** **virginbaejin**

 

 **virginbaejin:** whats this

 

 **winkwank:** retribution bitch

 

 **babylin:*:** hahahaha

 

 **virginbaejin:** im googling how to leave this shit group

 

 **winkwank** : I wish your tiny brain the best

 


	2. Couple Wars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the couples wage a little burn war  
> and bae jinyoung is the absolute mvp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's some more trash  
> sorry (?) for the overly sexual humor  
> xoxo

**virginbaejin:** so since everyone now knows about my sex life  
**virginbaejin:** it is only fair i reveal something  
**virginbaejin:** which i only know about bc my room is next to jaehwan and minhyuns  
  
**woojinisnothere:** you wont be revealing anything dumbfuck  
**woojinisnothere:** everyone and their mom knows minhyun and jaehwan r fucking  
  
**winkwank** : blondejin yet again proves  
**winkwank** : that his brain is the size of a nut  
**winkwank:** like his tiny ass face too  
  
**virginbaejin:** shut up jeojang  
**virginbaejin:** i havent had blonde hair since last year  
**virginbaejin:** also yeah everyone knows their fucking  
  
**kingjaehwan:** *they're  
  
**virginbaejin:** but what you guys havent heard  
**virginbaejin:** is that minhyun is jaehwans religion  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid:** yeah, jinyoung, we know they have weird praise kinks and shit  
  
**winkwank:** you dont need to be next to that room to hear that shit  
  
**meanhyun:** sorry not sorry  
  
**virginbaejin:** no dude im being literal  
**virginbaejin:** last night at like 2  
**virginbaejin:** i just took off my earplugs bc i thot they were done  
**virginbaejin:** when i heard jaehwan say  
**virginbaejin:** "minhyun is my religion."  
**virginbaejin** : and minhyun was like "say it again"  
**virginbaejin:** and then they both started laughing  
**virginbaejin:** until someone started moaning  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : OKAY STOP TOO MUCH INFORMATION  
  
**winkwink:** eww. i just became a hermit.  
  
**woojinisnothere:** wtf   
**woojinisnothere:** also jihoon boy you always been a hermit.  
  
**dannypote** : ... well done?  
  
**romeong:** hahaha daniel.  
**romeong:** but you two are so gross.  
  
**meanhyun:** are we really, cause i just saw you feed daniel pocky  
  
**romeong:** uhhhh no  
  
**meanhyun:** with your mouth  
  
**romeong:** shut up or i will tell them about the  things i found in your drawer  
  
**kingjaehwan:** at least minhyun and I are not as mushy as baby food  
**kingjaehwan:** speaking of babies, ong, when's the little fucker due  
  
**woojinisnothere:** ooh fuck savage  
  
**babylin** : umm i dont get it  
**  
woojinisnothere:** oh well, you see, big guy  
**woojinisnothere:** when two adults get tingly down there around each other  
  
**babylin** : no i got that bit duh  
  
**woojinisnothere:** they do something called fuck  
  
**babylin** : pls stop  
**babylin** : i was talking about the little fucker  
  
**kingjaehwan** : ongniel's baby  
  
**romeong:** what  
  
**kingjaehwan:** recent research shows that too much sap can get men pregnant  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid:** guys stop  
**jisungneedstogetlaid:** im gagging on air  
  
**kingjaehwan:** that's the only thing you've been gagging on for a year  
  
**winkwank** : gross  
**winkwank:** but accurate  
  
**woojinisnothere:** jaehwan is burning it upppp  
  
**meanhyun:** he always is  
  
**romeong:** okay ewww  
  
**kingjaehwan:** hey ong. remember that poem you wrote about daniel's wrists  
  
**romeong:** KIM JAEHWAN I WILL SLAUGHTER YOUR ASS  
  
**dannypote:** wut  
  
**romeong:** THAT WAS A LIE  
**romeong:** EVERYTHING THESE TWO EVIL ASSHOLES ARE SAYING   
**romeong:** LIES  
  
**dannypote:** the pocky thing was true tho  
**dannypote:** and why are so ashamed of being romantic seungwoo  
**dannypote:** bc we're both romantic  
**dannypote:** and im proud  
  
**meanhyun:** *brings popcorn*  
  
**kingjaehwan:** *snuggles into blankets*  
  
**winkwank:** *throws condoms*  
**winkwank** : be safe kids  
**winkwank:** you four are annoying enough   
**winkwank:** we don't need your mini-me's running around here  
  
**babylin** : hahaha jihoon hyung you're soo funny  
  
**winkwank:** good to know  
  
**babylin:** why are you so mean to meee hyung  
  
**winkwank:** please don't call me hyung it makes me sick  
  
**babylin:** whatever you want jihoon  
  
**smolwoon:** ...  
**smolwoon:** is it just me or did i just see the beginning of something here  
  
**daeweee <3:** NO  
**daeweee <3:** i have had enough of couple drama in this dorm  
**daeweee <3:** i refuse to witness a budding romance  
  
**babylin:** *blushes*   
  
**winkwank:** *gags*  
  
babylin: dont be like this jihoon :((((  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid:** what is with this dorm and so much romance  
**jisungneedstogetlaid:** we now have a blooming romance  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : apart from the evil couple  
**jisungneedstogetlaid:** and a weird mush couple  
  
**romeong:** hey we're not the weird couple!!  
  
**smolwoon:** then how'd you know he was talking about you  
  
**romeong:** minhyun and jaehwan are the weird couple  
**romeong:** I HATE TO HAVE TO SAY THIS  
**romeong:** BUT  
**romeong:** THEY HAVE TWO PAIRS OF HANDCUFFS IN THEIR DRAWER  
**romeong:** ONE BLACK ONE PINK  
  
**smolwoon:** yeah and?  
  
**meanhyun:** seriously ong.   
  
**daeweee <3:** i mean at this point everyone kinda knows this  
  
**romeong:** WHAT  
  
**dannypote:** yeah seungwoo.  
**dannypote:** they bought it for each other   
**dannypote:** jaehwan got the black one for minhyun  
**dannypote:** after minhyun bought him the pink one  
  
**kingjaehwan:** i don't know whether to be flattered or scarred  
**kingjaehwan** : about the sheer popularity of my love life  
**kingjaehwan:** glad to have so many hardcore fanboys rooting for us  
  
**winkwank:** we'd be bigger fanboys if we could live without hearing you and minhyun do your thang  
  
**woojinisnothere** : from a floor below  
  
**kingjaehwan:** not going to make promises I can't keep  
  
**meanhyun:** :3  
  
**romeong:** at least daniel and i are considerate you guys  
  
**smolwoon:** ummm  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid:** ://///  
  
**dannypote:** yeah i wouldn't go so far as to say that ong  
  
**daeweee <3:** yeah no shit you two  
**daeweee <3:** you are very audible too  
**daeweee <3:** jinyoung and i need ear plugs in our room  
**daeweee <3:** bc of both you couples  
  
**kingjaehwan:** at least minhyun and I are forthcoming about it  
  
**romeong:** HEY JAEHWAN CASH ME OUSSIDE HOW BOUT DAT  
**romeong:** (seriously come see me now)  
**romeong:** (i need your microbio notes asap)  
  
**dannypote:** but babe we're supposed to go to the library today  
**dannypote:** like all wednesdays  
  
**romeong:** oh right i forgot  
**romeong** : sorry :***  
**romeong** : ill see you at the library  
  
**woojinisnothere:** *cringes and dies*  
  
**virginbaejin:** look at all these couples  
**virginbaejin:** and then there's me  
  
**daeweee <3:** awwww  
  
**woojinisnothere:** WTF NO NOT ANOTHER COUPLE  
  
**daeweee <3:** yuck get out of here  
  
**virginbaejin** : yeah man i'd rather die a virgin  
**virginbaejin:** no offence daehwi you mah bro  
  
**daeweee <3:** none taken jinyoungieee  
**daeweee <3:** roomie bros 4ever :*  
****daeweee <3: (though you're probably going to die a virgin)


	3. #GetPanWinkTogether

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone wants panwink to happen (admit it) feat. bro drama

**daeweee:** hey jaehwan  
**daeweee:** text me  
  
**dannypote** : ???  
**dannypote:** wtf is wrong with u just text him yourself  
**dannypote:** dumbfuck  
  
**daeweee:** save the expletives, pothead.  
**daeweee:** there is a purpose to everything  
  
**romeong:** hey no need to be mean  
  
**daeweee** : oh go try to eat each others faces again will you  
**daeweee** : you're a lot more likable when your mouths are occupied otherwise  
  
**smolwoon** : for all you know they're probably doing just that right now  
**smolwoon** : you dont need an unoccupied mouth to text  
  
**kingjaehwan** : or an iq apparently  
  
**daeweee** : so jaehwan just found out from a little birdie   
**daeweee** : that minhyun is cuddling bae jinyoung  
**daeweee** : and got pictographic evidence  
  
**kingjaehwan** : a strange snitchy birdie  
  
**daeweee** : the birdie is not snitching if it openly declares its message  
  
**woojinisnothere** : daehwi r u that desperate for drama  
  
**winkwank** : that you'd resort to old married couples.  
  
**kingjaehwan** : not old. not married.  
**kingjaehwan** : no one's put a ring on it  
  
**babylin** : haha i was just jamming to queen bey  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : hey guanlinnie. you know who else literally lives on yonce  
  
**smolwoon** : our jihoonie.  
  
**winkwank:** *not yours  
  
**babylin:** he's right he's not yours  
**babylin:** already taken ;)  
  
**winkwank** : *gags*  
  
**smolwoon** : (guys i see progress here ftw)  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : (these kids should just hurry up and do their thang)  
  
**woojinisnothere:** we dont need any more couples doing their thang at this dorm anymore  
  
**winkwank** : i would never  
**winkwank:** i swear on our brotherhood  
  
**woojinisnothere** : also it would be awk bc i lit wake up and go to sleep with jihoon  
  
**winkwank** : you have the ability to make the purest thing sound creepy  
  
**daeweee:** "purest thing"  
**daeweee:** calm down you're not in a jane austen novel  
**daeweee:** and about this whole swear on our brotherhood shit  
  
**virginbaejin** : me me me i'll say this  
**virginbaejin** : you swore on your brohood that youd finish that entire spicy ramen pack jihoon  
  
**winkwank:** i don't know what you're on about  
  
**woojinisnothere:** yea i remember this  
**woojinisnothere** : you lost against me in laser tag  
**woojinisnothere:** and ate a whole pack of volcano ramen  
**woojinisnothere:** a defining moment in our friendship :)  
  
**virginbaejin** : except that  
**virginbaejin** : i found ong seongwoo being bribed by jihoon  
**virginbaejin** : to finish that pack of ramen  
  
**woojinisnothere:** ...is this true  
  
**winkwank** :....  
**winkwank** : jeojang? *aegyo on*  
  
**woojinisnothere** : wow  
**woojinisnothere** : bye  
  
_**woojinisnothere left the chat**_  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : he actually left oh god  
**jisungneedstogetlaid:** jihoon go talk to him  
  
**winkwank:** i would if he hadnt locked me out of my own room  
**winkwank** : can i break the door  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : NO  
  
**winkwank** : i will probably. he might touch my nerf guns.  
  
**romeong** : how is jihoon popular  
  
**kingjaehwan** : just sit outside the door and keep bugging him i guess  
**kingjaehwan** : dont try too hard tho  
**kingjaehwan** : he picked me up once and almost threw me  
  
**romeong** : hahaha i saw this  
**romeong** : "NO NO NO PLEASE WOOJINIE"  
  
**winkwank** : great help   
  
**romeong** : but seriously jihoonie. talk  
**romeong** : bffs have fights.   
**romeong** : but you gotta sort them out  
**romeong** : jaehwan just screams at me and i try to kick him and then its all good  
  
**kingjaehwan** : don't imply that we're bffs  
**kingjaehwan** : ong of ongniel  
  
**romeong** : whatever  
**romeong** : you disgusting   
**romeong** : worshipper of minhyun  
  
**kingjaehwan** : fair enough  
  
**romeong** : haha i totally won this round  
**romeong:** *gets teary*   
  
**kingjaehwan:** daniel's gone to buy tissues and lube from the store in celebration  
**kingjaehwan** : ask him to buy you slip-on brain implants while he's at it  
  
**daeweee:** OOOOOOOHHHHHH  
  
**virginbaejin:** all hale jaehwan  
  
**kingjaehwan** : *hail  
**kingjaehwan** : stop watching teen wolf and thirsting over derek hale's ass  
  
**daeweee** : jaehwan- 2   
**daeweee** : losers- 0  
  
**meanhyun** : nice one babe  
  
**kingjaehwan** : thank you babe  
  
**daeweee** : ???  
**daeweee** : you guys arent fighting.  
  
**meanhyun** : daehwi daehwi daehwi  
**meanhyun** : don't try to fuck over the power couple  
  
**kingjaehwan** : i'm more secure in my relationship than ong's ass in those tiny jeans  
  
**daeweee** : aww nooo  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : LEE DAEHWI  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : ISN'T CAUSING ONE MAJOR FIGHT A DAY ENOUGH FOR YOU  
  
**daeweee** : isn't getting laid once in two years enough for you  
  
**smolwoon** : * three  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : SUNGWOON  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : I TRUSTED YOU  
  
**dannypote** : does that mean you trust me too  
**dannypote** : bc i remember that time you hooked up with you know who  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : STFU   
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : no one likes you  
  
**romeong** : I DO  
  
**dannypote** : aww babe  
  
**virginbaejin** : yuck  
  
_**winkwank added woojinisnothere**_  
  
**woojinisnothere** : so guess which bros rule the world  
  
**kingjaehwan** : warner bros  
  
**woojinisnothere** : no  
**woojinisnothere** : bros have fights but they all pass  
  
**winkwank** : he broke my nerf gun  
  
**woojinisnothere** : hence we are even  
  
**winkwank** : except that the gun cost me   
  
**woojinisnothere** : your breach of trust cost me  
**woojinisnothere** : but it doesnt matter no more  
**woojinisnothere** : 2PARK IS BACK  
  
**winkwank** : *cringes*   
**winkwank** : but you're right :)  
  
**babylin** : this chat is annoying i want to leave  
  
**smolwoon** : oh no   
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : not at all guanliniee  
  
**kingjaehwan** : yea you're the nicest kid here  
  
**babylin** : ://///  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : (guys we need to do something about this)  
  
**smolwoon** : (guanlinie and jihoon right)  
  
**dannypote** : (yea dude. but in secret)  
  
**kingjaehwan** : (so many unresolved feelings do no good)  
  
**romeong** : (yeah too much angst)  
  
**daeweee** : (guys maybe discuss this on our GET PANWINK TOGETHER group)  
  
**meanhyun** : (what a wonderful idea)  
  
**woojinisnothere** : (more spam yay)  
  
**virginbaejin** : guys i think jihoon likes him back you know  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : BAE JINYOUNG WHAT ARE YOU DOING  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** :  WHERE ARE THE PARENTHESES. THEYLL HEAR YOU SHHHHHHHHH  
  
**virginbaejin** : its not like they cant read whats in the parentheses. 

 **virginbaejin** : they know we r trying to set them up  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : daehwi get that boy away from his phone now  
  
**daeweee** : might ruin my hair   
**daeweee** : but I'm on it  
  
**jisungneedstogetlaid** : (guys, the other group, now)  
  
**winkwank** : ...

 **winkwank** : I can't believe that freaking bae jinyoung is the smartest dude here rn  
  
**babylin** : :////  
  


**winkwank** : oh come on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the beautiful mess that is wanna one go has given me fodder for at least four more chapters xD  
> jihoon eating volcano ramyeon and minhyun+ jinyoung cuddling and 2park and onghwan and-  
> okay I should stop.  
> i rlly miss teen wolf so there's that ref  
> and guess who yoon jisung hooked up with in this *winks* lololol  
> xx


	4. A Failed Boycott

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a boycott backfires  
> (disclaimer: none of the pictures used belong to me. credit to the owners. linked below.)

**winkwank :** so nobody talks on this group anymore

**winkwank :** bc everyone’s always on that other group without me in it

 

**dannypote :** and guanlin

 

**winkwank:** whatev

 

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : and we’re considering adding guanlin to that other group too

 

**winkwank:** wow okay boycott

**winkwank:** why tho

**winkwank:** what have I done to incur your wrath

 

**dannypote:** hey theirs no wrath or anything

 

**jisungneedstogetlaid:** daniel. other chat. Now.

 

**kingjaehwan:** *there’s

 

**romeong:** hey skankbutt take your spellcheck to the other group

 

**winkwank:** you guys are really united in this huh

**winkwank:** wtf

**winkwank:** park woojin. you too (?)

 

**woojinisnothere** : you can remove the question mark

 

**winkwank:** bro. wut

 

**woojinisnothere** : sorry man. but this cause is very close to my heart

**woojinisnothere** : ever since my guy guanlin has been after my life in every basketball match

**woojinisnothere:** which is weird bc we’re on the same team

 

**daeweee** : *cough* rivalry *cough*

 

**winkwank** : *cough* this is not a k drama *cough*

 

**woojinisnothere** : so just putting it out there

**woojinisnothere** : im on the #getpanwinktogether team

 

**winkwank** : this is such a drag I cant even

 

**woojinisnothere** : hey whats a drag is all this unnecessary tension

 

**winkwank:** but we all had a pretty happy movie night like yesterday ?

 

**woojinisnothere:** in general

 

**winkwank** : fine. but bros pay for betrayal remember

 

**virginbaejin** : how do you mute a chat

 

**winkwank** : it’s on bitch

**winkwank** :

[ ](https://78.media.tumblr.com/f5f5992e0bbf0e9593652ce6c5dfec99/tumblr_op6rw1SGXb1ugxln5o2_1280.png)

 

**woojinisnothere:** thats kinda weak jihoon.

 

**winkwank** :

 

 

**woojinisnothere** : literally everyone here has seen that stuff

 

**winkwank** : fine

 

**virginbaejin** : hey how do you add pictures to the group chat

 

**smolwoon** : …..

**smolwoon** : how is this guy still alive

 

**daeweee** : it’s okay hyung. I got this.

 

**dannypote** : umm guys. I think we have a situation.

**dannypote** : I just saw jihoon dump his phone on the sofa and sorta run to his room.

**dannypote** : and then the door clicked shut.

 

**kingjaehwan:** great story man. wonderful articulation.

 

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : what seriously.

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : he’s actually affected by this

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : I feel like a monster for planning this

 

**smolwoon** : hey you had the best intentions

 

**kingjaehwan** : yes it was a delightfully thought out plan

 

**meanhyun** : “let’s ignore jihoon so he has no option but to run to guanlin”

 

**kingjaehwan** : and then

 

**meanhyun** : #panwinkgetstogether

 

**kingjaehwan** : sublime foresight

 

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : shut you fat lips

 

** virginbaejin **

:

**virginbaejin** : eureka I did it

 

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : guys I feel awful

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : what if he’s hugging that god awful polar bear stuffd thing he keeps talking to

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : and crying himself to sleep

 

**smolwoon** : don’t blame yourself

 

**dannypote** : yeah hyung hes not a baby

 

**romeong** : and he’s far from helpless

**romeong** : for all you know he’s breaking woojin’s transformers collectibles rn

 

**woojinisnothere** : WTF

**woojinisnothere** : im 15 mins away from the dorm SOMEONE STOP HIM NOW

**woojinisnothere:** I HAVE WORKED ON THAT COLLECTION SINCE I WS SUCKING FIFTEEN

 

**kingjaehwan** : sucking fifteen

 

**woojinisnothere** : sorry *fucking

**woojinisnothere** : WAIT I DONT HAVE TIE FOR THIS SOMEONE BREAK DOWN THAT DOOR AND STOP HIM

 

**meanhyun** : *time

 

**woojinisnothere** : PLEASE PLEASE PLES PLES PLES

 

**daeweee** : I can’t believe I’m the one saying this

**daeweee** : but can everyone stop being extra for once

 

**virginbaejin** :

 

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : daehwi take jinyoungs phone away please

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : okay guys don’t worry. I did this I’ll fix it.

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : im going to go talk to him. y’all give us a few minutes.

 

**kingjaehwan:** yeah y’all give us in the next room a few minutes too

 

**meanhyun** : or maybe an hour :3

 

**daeweee** : … sungwoon hyung I think I’ll need my ear plugs back

 

**smolwoon** : yeah thanks for them man.

**smolwoon** : at least I didn’t have to try to sleep to sounds of a certain couple getting off

 

**winkwank** : yeah ongniel you guys really need to keep it down a lil

**winkwank** : I had little to no shut eye last night

 

**dannypote:** wait what jihoon

**dannypote:** arent you crying in your room

 

**winkwank:** ….

**winkwank:** no.

 

**romeong** : but jisung just went to…

 

**jisungneedstogetlaid:** JIHOON THANK GOD WHERE ARE YOU I THOUGHT YOU RAN AWAY

**jisungneedstogetlaid:** YOU HAD ME WORRIED SICK ARE YOU OKAY

 

**winkwank** : yeah just went to get some ice cream like ten minutes ago

 

**dannypote** : but you threw your phone on the couch and ran to your room

 

**winkwank** : to change of course

**winkwank** : @romeong you really don’t go for the brains do you

 

**dannypote** : oh

**dannypote** : wait stop being mean jihoon

 

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : but then why didn’t you say anything wwhen we started panicking and stuff

 

**winkwank** : let’s just say karma’s a bitch

**winkwank** : you picked on the wrong park

**winkwank:** (that’s a hint for you, traitor Park)

 

**woojinisnothere** : OH FUCK

**woojinisnothere** : jisung hyung please check if the figurines on the window pane are okay

 

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : woojin. I don’t see any figurines

 

**woojinisnothere** : THEY’RE ON THE WINDOW PANE

 

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : woojin. I’m standing here and I see nothing

 

**winkwank** : ;)

 

**woojinisnothere** : ASDFGHJKL

 

**winkwank** : speaking of which. Guanlin’s asking if you guys want any ice cream too

 

**smolwoon** : wait what. You’re with guanlin?

**smolwoon** : seongwoo told us on the panwink group that guanlin was brooding alone somewhere

**smolwoon** : and that his phone was lying in his room

 

**winkwank** : yeah guanlin left his phone when he left for classes

 

**kingjaehwan:** look at ongniel fucking shit up for blooming romances

 

**romeong:** aren’t you getting laid rn

 

**kingjaehwan** : ^_^

 

**winkwank** : oh and guys

**winkwank** : guanlin’s asking you to chill a lil

**winkwank** : ^_^

 

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : well thank the heavens

 

**virginbaejin** :

**jisungneedstogetlaid** : daehwi get that phone away from that boy

 

**virginbaejin** : ^_^

 

**romeong** : oh for christ’s sake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a mess which rlly not acceptable considering i'm updating after a decade  
> here are the pics:   
> https://78.media.tumblr.com/f5f5992e0bbf0e9593652ce6c5dfec99/tumblr_op6rw1SGXb1ugxln5o2_1280.png  
> https://i.imgur.com/1lUTzD8.jpg  
>  https://78.media.tumblr.com/2c90937b01f1545ea248bed13f85d87e/tumblr_ow0ioj9eHG1wsph7yo2_400.jpg  
>  https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DId5shzUwAE2JfZ.jpg  
> https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DDyk1DcUAAE7dtF.jpg


	5. Revolutions and Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ft. the couples being "nsfw" and baejin getting dragged. again.

virginbaejin: everyone. i have something to say

winkwank: oh god

virginbaejin: i havent even started  
virginbaejin: ^_^

romeong: pls stop with that emoji

daeweee: pls shut up i smell gossip

virginbaejin: i saw panwink happen

jisungneedstogetlaid: OMGGGG WHATTTTT

dannypote: rlly? details pls

smolwoon: yeah sure tell us

woojinisnothere: ...dont we have a diff group for this

daeweee: hey @woojin. leave  
daeweee: go on jinyoungie

virginbaejin: they were eating ice cream under a tree

jisungneedstogetlaid:... that's it?!

romeong: all that build up for this

kingjaehwan: i bet you say that to daniel all the time

dannypote: hey!!!

meanhyun: yea jaehwan. that was unnecessary.

romeong:!!!!  
romeong: you tell him minhyun  
romeong: #bitchslapped

meanhyun: it must be sad enough to be in that relationship in the first place  
meanhyun: you dont have to rub it in babe

dannypote: wtfwhy are you roasting us

kingjaehwan: you're right minhyungggg

meanhyun: :3

woojinisnothere: ugh god it's that weird hyung kink again

romeong left

jisungneedstogetlaid: JAEHWAN. FIX THIS NOW.

kingjaehwan: cool

kingjaehwan added danielsbitch

danielsbitch: i refuse to be a part of this shithole of rude people  
danielsbitch: KIM JAEHWAN. YOU ARE DEAD TO ME

dannypote changed danielsbitch to ongie

dannypote: hey come on seongwoo   
dannypote:they're just teasing babe

jisungneedstogetlaid: exactly!!

dannypote: dont be mad at jaehwan  
dannypote: (you need his biotech notes remember)

ongie: alright jaehwan i have decided to forgive you this time  
ongie: now give me this semester's notes please

kingjaehwan muted the chat

virginbaejin: hey how do you do that

daeweee:omg guys there must have been an update

virginbaejin: yea i updated  
virginbaejin: how do you mute tho

smolwoon: this kid's gonna be the first to die after the ai revolution

virginbaejin: whatz an ai revolution

woojinisnothere: oh go to school dumbshit

smolwoon:^

babylin: what's that hyung

jisungneedstogetlaid: ohhh guanlinie's here

smolwoon: i meant artificial intelligence guanliniee

babylin: oh okay

virginbaejin: hey i would have understood that too

woojinisnothere: lol kay i bet you just googled it  
woojinisnothere: coz you never heard of it

smolwoon: ^

virginbaejin: the discrimination is real

winkwank: Ohmygod guys.   
winkwank: bae jinyoung just spelt discrimination.

woojinisnothere: autocorrectbruh  
woojinisnothere: autocorrect

virginbaejin: well excuse me im perfectly capable of spelling words

woojinisnothere: im sure

virginbaejin: huh as if your any better

winkwank: *you're

meanhyun: hmm i miss Jaehwan already

virginbaejin: jihoon. woojin.  
virginbaejin: i dare you to spell exsanguinate

daeweee: ...

dannypote: ...

jisungneedstogetlaid:...

meanhyun muted the chat  
smolwoon muted the chat

woojinisnothere: can anyone explain to me how bae jinyoung has survived the big bad world

winkwank: that's some profound shit

dannypote:.......

ongie: okay im kinda out  
ongie: *cough* daniel.room. now . *cough*

ongie muted the chat

dannypote: ooh gotta go guysssss :)))))

dannypote muted the chat

winkwank: hey guanlin wanna borrow my earplugs.   
winkwank: think you might need them soon  
winkwank: ...

babylin: sure jihoonie :))

jisungneedstogetlaid: I'm gagging at   
how much sex these couples have ewww  
jisungneedstogetlaid: but also getting the feels for guanlinie and jihoon

woojinisnothere: yeah i mean both those couples are way out of their honeymoon stage  
woojinisnothere: but still go at it like bunnies

daeweee: aren't they tired tbh

winkwank: yea i never really understood this hormonal shit

woojinisnothere: no thats different. it's because you are a hermit

babylin: which is cute <3  
babylin: also guys. can we please avoid nsfw stuff please  
babylin: bc that's all that goes on when the couples are aroubd  
babylin: it shouldn't when they are finally gone

woojinisnothere: nsfw? what are you, a priest from the byzantine empire

winkwank: there's probably some historical inaccuracy there but I wouldn't know

woojinisnothere: take your pre med ass outta here  
woojinisnothere: leave the historical references to the actual history major

jisungneedstogetlaid:... I'm not quite sure we should do that  
jisungneedstogetlaid: jinyoung is the only history major here

winkwank: huh lol my pre med ass knows more history than that history major

virginbaejin: hey im good at what i do kay  
virginbaejin: i do good in class and everything else

woojinisnothere: i am so offended guys  
woojinisnothere: i cant believe you dont know my major

daeweee: wait what

babylin: hyung you're a history major??

woojinisnothere: wtf guanlin we're on the same basketball team

jisungneedstogetlaid: seriously tho woojin?  
jisungneedstogetlaid: i thought you were a business major or something

woojinisnothere: hyung what  
woojinisnothere: you literally made me give you a copy of all my college documents when i started living here!!

jisungneedstogetlaid: ...who actually reads that shit haha  
jisungneedstogetlaid: it's just so that if you turn out to be a drug dealer i can say i did my bit

daeweee: Oh wow our RA is #exposed

woojinisnothere: jihoon can you believe this  
woojinisnothere: no one knows my major

virginbaejin: ya know what wud be funny  
virginbaejin: if jihoon didnt know either  
virginbaejin: hahaha

winkwank:....

woojinisnothere: what even  
woojinisnothere: how is that even  
woojinisnothere: WE LIVE TOGETHER JIHOON

winkwank: ... in my defence  
winkwank: we don't rlly talk about class?

woojinisnothere: i cant even

woojinisnothere muted the chat

winkwank: well that mute feature has its perks  
winkwank: i cant believe blondejin was actually right for once

virginbaejin: hey i looked good with blonde hair

jisungneedstogetlaid: what are you going to do about woojin tho

winkwank: oh he'll be fine  
winkwank: he just needs to see his missing collectibles

daeweee: ohohoho you held on to that for blackmail

babylin: Damn jihoon you are bad

winkwank: yup. never hurts to have ammo y'all.

jisungneedstogetlaid: I don't care what it takes.  
jisungneedstogetlaid: I just want peace to prevail

daeweee: (so that his RA job is not snatched from him)

winkwank: (yea so that them student loans dont bite him in the ass)

jisungneedstogetlaid: hey i will not be shamed for being a financially independent adult

daeweee: read- broke

virginbaejin: yeah lolol

winkwank: (but dude aren't we all broke. we live in the cheapest dorm for christ's sake)

jisungneedstogetlaid: aHAAHAHahahHahaha  
jisungneedstogetlaid: (except jaehwan tho. that bitch is on scholarship)

daeweee: !!!!!!

winkwank: alright enough shocking revelations for a day

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3333333


End file.
